With my psychology classes well underway, we are delving into some hot topics, debatable issues and areas where strong opinions are held. One of the classes I am most excited about is called "Social Psychology" where we look at the social influences in virtually every sphere a person comes into contact with. The professor has some rather firm views about how we have been shaped and influenced, he admits he is a 'social determinist' and believes we are all the products of social influences we have had. You are not democratic or republican because of what you think of Obama or Romney - you are democratic or republican because the people in your life who you hold in highest esteem have persuaded you that one of these is the 'right party'.
Anyone who has ever been through a class with me knows I object to anything that is taught as a black-and-white issue. I queried whether he thinks we have any sort of personalized filtering system that would balance out what people around us say, and our own moral compass or self-governing questions. He politely pointed out that the very fact I asked this question highlights my own social experience of being around highly academic people who don't accept the first offering of information, but rather question and seek truth. Well....I couldn't argue with that. It's true! I have been influenced by people who are often termed "over thinkers" or "philosophers".
It made me wonder if that's one of the reasons I find it so hard to make a life decision. It took me the best part of eight years to decide what sort of profession I would want to go into - and even now I still question it. Where are the lines between thinking carefully and over-thinking, between contemplating thoroughly and over-analyzing? In recent years, although I love learning, I have found myself more and more frustrated and I wonder if it's because I refuse to accept something at face value. I always try to find the best way, or the most efficient process or the most comprehensive route....and while this is a fantastic work ethic, is it possible to sustain a life like this?
While there are many unanswerable questions, maybe it's worth taking some time out over the next few months to consider who are the people who have influenced the way I think. I know the few minutes I spent on this thought today certainly surprised me - of course my parents, my brother (and sister-in-law) and family all influenced me. What of my friends? My peers through school? How did what they say/do, whether kind or mean, how did that influence me. Are there things I need to let go of in order to progress? Are there things I need to re-learn in order to advance? Don't panic! I'm not going to self-analyze, but I do think taking some time to reflect and see what unhealthy baggage I might be carrying around with me or what lessons I could learn from people who had a positive influence on me. I'm also paying attention to the fact that I should be aware of who I am spending my time with, who can influence me --there are some pretty amazing people here in Ohio who I'm sure could have a positive influence if I let them!
Monday, 27 August 2012
Sunday, 19 August 2012
Songs That Changed Me This Summer
Through the summer, I realized the powerful words that musician have used to express themselves and how I can relate to that. Several people I know have written songs/albums that inspired me and deeply moved me during the summer. These five songs changed my life this summer and to their writers I am grateful for helping me pour out my heart and grow from the experiences I've been through.
Mark Tedder - Pilgrim's Journey
"Take me deeper than the healing, further than the grieving, Jesus. Wake me, make more more than ever, hungry for your prensence first love"
Amy Duren - Rest
"Rest, lay your head down, the battle has been won, you no longer are bound, so won't you sit, sit with me. I will give you rest if you will find rest in me. I was with you in the desert, I'll be there when you rise on the mountain, my child one thing is certain, I will and have and always loved you...."
Al Gordon - Glorious
"You are the one I love, you're glorious, you have won my heart, you're glorious...face to face my life unveiled I worship you, you're my everlasting life, your glory captivates with brilliance brighter than the morning sun..."
Vicky Beeching - Break Our Hearts
"It's time for us to live the songs we sing, and turn our good intentions into actions, to bring the kind of worship you desire, and move beyond our self-absorbed distractions...break our hearts with the things that break your's, wake us up to see through your eyes..."
Andy Bromley - Love Mercy
"You have shown us what is good, through the message of your Son; show justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God...."
The Summer That Got Me Back...
Over the last few years, my life has taken some dramatic turns. Never mind all the sordid details, but enough to say, I had my heart broken, I left friends & family in England to move to Ohio to start school, and my father happened to pass away unexpectedly a few short days before I had been due to move. I delayed my 'migration plans' for a few months, and then made the leap across the Atlantic. While I thought I was coping, several other dramatic circumstances pushed me to the limit of my coping skills. Those who witnessed my distress at the time may even say I was beyond my coping skills. With the love and support of a couple wise & mature women in a minuscule town called Cedarville, I began to grapple my way back to sanity. Despite all that was going on, I had maintained an above average GPA and made a good impression with my professors who saw that I was eager to apply the textbook lessons to my own life and learn important lessons - such us never giving up HOPE, learning the critical importance of knowing when to ask for help, being willing to engage in complicated and philosophical discussions and working towards a physically and mentally 'healthy' lifestyle.
After an exhausting three, maybe four years, this past summer I found myself unexpectedly jobless and emotionally drained. I had signed up for a class through my university which was an option for completing a "required class" for all students, and it involved travelling around the Western United States, learning about Geology. A similar option was to go to Hawaii and many more students opted to take that class or an online option...there were a mere five of us students and one professor on this journey. We met in Salt Lake City, Utah in early May and for two weeks traveled to points of interest and along roadways of interest. We hiked insane trails and meandered through wilderness, snow-capped mountains and calderas. Our trip took us from Utah, through Colorado, Wyoming, Nebraska, South Dakota, Montana and Idaho. We visited famous landmarks such as Dinosaur National Park, The Rocky Mountains, The Badlands, Mount Rushmore, Yellowstone National Park and Antelope Island (we saw approximately 30 different major sites but I'm not going to list them all now!) As we journeyed, I began to appreciate what the "First Nations" (aka American Indians) treasure so much about the land. After hiking for 3 hours on a mountain side that feels like a 90 degree verticle angle, you begin to shed the mental burdens you had been carrying for months. Your physical exhaustion, brings emotions that were deeply suppressed, right back up to the surface where you have to deal with them. This trip was a test of my stamina (having never done serious hiking before), and I came out of it mentally refreshed and recalling my place in the world - a steward, a small piece in a cosmic story, and a dearly loved child of God.
Returning from this trip, I met with some ladies who had been supporting me since I moved to Ohio - they encouraged me even more. While some tough decisions needed to be made about how I was going to prioritize things in my life, I found that I had rediscovered my humor (something I inherited from my Dad, it's distinctly witty and often warped), and my appreciation for the small, little, random things in life. Like a tiny yellow flower that springs up next to my doorstep amid the thousands of weeds that have taken over our apartment complex. (reminding me to persevere, to hold fast to my beliefs and to resist being overwhelmed).
A few weeks before the end of summer I had an amazing opportunity to visit my brother & sister-in-law in Michigan, who let me blend into their lives for 10 days and enjoy simple pleasures, such as playing with their border collie, trying out various 'international' foods, trying out classes at the gym my sister-in-law just got membership to, walking around a lake near where my brother played soccer. Simple pleasures and a lot of relaxing and just being family. They took some time out to help and advise me on some issues (you know, the whole 'being a broke student and wanting to live like a millionaire' thing), and I left their home feeling excited and ready for school and the adventures that awaited me.
In the last two weeks since getting back to Cedarville, things have quite literally moved faster than I could keep track of. I ended up having two jobs and have started both. One demands my experience in Human Resources, in Training and in Barista work at a local coffee shop - the other demands my experience in networking, marketing and use of social media for a Personal Fitness Instructor and Web-Marketing Professional who's businesses are taking off at the speed of light. This week I realized how much I appreciate both my jobs (despite the irony that I'm working for one boss who supplies fat & calories, and the other who likes to burn those up! --they do know each other too!), while I'm tired and still adjusting to the demands of both roles, I know that I've done my best for them and I'm loving seeing the potential in both businesses and how I might be able to help them in the months ahead. I've thoroughly enjoyed using skills I established in years gone by, and being challenged to develop new (and updated) skills to benefit my bosses.
As the summer comes to an end, and classes begin on Wednesday, I can't help thinking what an awesome summer I have had. There have been tough moments, and tiring moments, but I have had people invest in me, use my skills, trust me, ask me to help them, depend on me, encourage me, motivate me, teach me and love me. I needed this summer - I feel like I'm back. After a few years of mayhem, the 'me' that I know, who God has known, is back and is growing, maturing and learning. It feels very very good.
After an exhausting three, maybe four years, this past summer I found myself unexpectedly jobless and emotionally drained. I had signed up for a class through my university which was an option for completing a "required class" for all students, and it involved travelling around the Western United States, learning about Geology. A similar option was to go to Hawaii and many more students opted to take that class or an online option...there were a mere five of us students and one professor on this journey. We met in Salt Lake City, Utah in early May and for two weeks traveled to points of interest and along roadways of interest. We hiked insane trails and meandered through wilderness, snow-capped mountains and calderas. Our trip took us from Utah, through Colorado, Wyoming, Nebraska, South Dakota, Montana and Idaho. We visited famous landmarks such as Dinosaur National Park, The Rocky Mountains, The Badlands, Mount Rushmore, Yellowstone National Park and Antelope Island (we saw approximately 30 different major sites but I'm not going to list them all now!) As we journeyed, I began to appreciate what the "First Nations" (aka American Indians) treasure so much about the land. After hiking for 3 hours on a mountain side that feels like a 90 degree verticle angle, you begin to shed the mental burdens you had been carrying for months. Your physical exhaustion, brings emotions that were deeply suppressed, right back up to the surface where you have to deal with them. This trip was a test of my stamina (having never done serious hiking before), and I came out of it mentally refreshed and recalling my place in the world - a steward, a small piece in a cosmic story, and a dearly loved child of God.
Returning from this trip, I met with some ladies who had been supporting me since I moved to Ohio - they encouraged me even more. While some tough decisions needed to be made about how I was going to prioritize things in my life, I found that I had rediscovered my humor (something I inherited from my Dad, it's distinctly witty and often warped), and my appreciation for the small, little, random things in life. Like a tiny yellow flower that springs up next to my doorstep amid the thousands of weeds that have taken over our apartment complex. (reminding me to persevere, to hold fast to my beliefs and to resist being overwhelmed).
A few weeks before the end of summer I had an amazing opportunity to visit my brother & sister-in-law in Michigan, who let me blend into their lives for 10 days and enjoy simple pleasures, such as playing with their border collie, trying out various 'international' foods, trying out classes at the gym my sister-in-law just got membership to, walking around a lake near where my brother played soccer. Simple pleasures and a lot of relaxing and just being family. They took some time out to help and advise me on some issues (you know, the whole 'being a broke student and wanting to live like a millionaire' thing), and I left their home feeling excited and ready for school and the adventures that awaited me.
In the last two weeks since getting back to Cedarville, things have quite literally moved faster than I could keep track of. I ended up having two jobs and have started both. One demands my experience in Human Resources, in Training and in Barista work at a local coffee shop - the other demands my experience in networking, marketing and use of social media for a Personal Fitness Instructor and Web-Marketing Professional who's businesses are taking off at the speed of light. This week I realized how much I appreciate both my jobs (despite the irony that I'm working for one boss who supplies fat & calories, and the other who likes to burn those up! --they do know each other too!), while I'm tired and still adjusting to the demands of both roles, I know that I've done my best for them and I'm loving seeing the potential in both businesses and how I might be able to help them in the months ahead. I've thoroughly enjoyed using skills I established in years gone by, and being challenged to develop new (and updated) skills to benefit my bosses.
As the summer comes to an end, and classes begin on Wednesday, I can't help thinking what an awesome summer I have had. There have been tough moments, and tiring moments, but I have had people invest in me, use my skills, trust me, ask me to help them, depend on me, encourage me, motivate me, teach me and love me. I needed this summer - I feel like I'm back. After a few years of mayhem, the 'me' that I know, who God has known, is back and is growing, maturing and learning. It feels very very good.
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